Monday, December 26, 2011

Memory Lane --> "Roni Feels Nostalgic"

Last night I had my mom pull out her small chest filled to the rim with old family photographs, keepsakes, and letters...going through these old memories is one of my favorite things in the whole world, if not the most important thing in my world...nostalgia. :)
My mom, Mona (my sister), Danny (my brother), Gilbert, Mikey and I sat around the kitchen table till about 3 am recalling the stories that belonged to each old image. I was in heaven and we all shared a ton of laughs remembering our amazing childhood with Mom.
During the treasure hunt for "what else is in here?" of my mom's little chest, I found an old letter I'd written to my family on one of my visits here in 2007. I remember I was stationed in Vegas at the time, and the tempo of the squadron I was working in plus the fact that I was in an office with only two other people kept me from taking leave to see my family for over a year! That was the longest time I was away from Texas during my enlistments in the military; and even this last year of being a civilian, a student in Jersey, I've managed to come home four times.
So, I found this letter, all excited, and read it in front of my mom and Mikey (Mona & Gilbert had left and Danny went to bed by this time):

"To my Family:
I sit here in Mona’s room crying right now, and I can’t stop. 
A year and a half went by so fast between me and this house...between me and this city...between me and my family. And that really hurts me.  Two weeks to spend with the people you love more than anyone else in this whole world is not enough. Trying to make every moment count in 14 days in almost heartbreaking to me...everything is a rush to try and get to the next moment and enjoy it.  I wanna just sit back and BREATHE! I want to let “home” and “Family” sink into my soul and for one second just feel like I’m here to stay with all of you again. I swear to God I love this house to death.  This is the house we shared. The house I grew up in.  It was once my home.  But I never come back here and stay long enough for it to feel like “home” to me anymore. And that kills me a little more with each stay. 
I love y’all so much.
I’m leaving tomorrow and for the last 13 days all I’ve done was study y’all. Examine every smile, every different sound of laughter each one of you produces, mentally photographing y’all in certain ways - I want to remember you when I’m gone. 
The thing that makes my heart ache is not knowing when I’m going to see these smiles or hear these voices and laughter again. I don’t want to wait so long the next time [to come home]. 
But in the meantime, while we are apart yet again, I can only ask God to keep a close eye on y’all and keep y’all safe for me...and to bring us together again soon.
With all my heart,
Roni <3"

Needless to say it choked me up, and I was crying by the end of it. I was just taken back to the exact way I felt when I wrote it. I'm sure y'all understand.
Here are some of the pictures my mommy is letting me take home for my walls.
Christmas 1987
me & mommy June 1984
me & Danny '89 or '90 (note: my saddle shoes - I loved those)
me & Mona '90 or '91
This pic cracks me up. We had one of those 80's Ninja Turtle cameras!
Danny (with a Prince poster, LOL), Mona and me, minus my two front teeth - HOT!
Mi familia on Christmas Eve 2011.

My mom and I ended up staying up till 7 a.m. after Mikey went to bed, talking about how fast the time goes by. During our chat, I told myself to remember every story we stayed up sharing, every detail, because these are the most important details of our lives
I'm sending lots of love to you all! I hope y'all are having pretty moments wherever you are. 
(I'll try to come back for a couple of missed outfit posts...if I get service! lol)

Love & bear hugs,


  1. You got lighter as you got older! I remember pics of me as a kid, I was super-pale. I got darker. Which is funny, because I'm just a tan version of my dad. Almost to a "T".

    I love the pics. Glad you're having fun. Can't believe you're only 2 hours away from me! I know exactly how you feel. I remember feeling like that every time I saw mi familia back home.

  2. awww this is so adorable! <3

  3. Jen,
    That is pretty funny that your skin tone changed! Now you're your momma's twin!! I was pretty light skinned as a kid, I thought, just like with a better tan...I can't even tan though! I get lobster red under the sun. But back then I was outside playing day in and day out so I'm sure that helped even out with the endless amounts of sun block my mom put on me. lol And yeah, I'm pretty pasty these days.

    Thank you, sweetie :))
    I will catch up on your blog posts that I've missed when I get back home.

  4. I'd by lying if I said I wasn't crying. I'm such a softy. XOXO, LL

  5. Linds,
    Me too! Everytime I read this post I cry. And I keep telling myself to fight it and be strong, lol!


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