I was 19 years old, living in a dorm room in Mississippi. For three months I'd be there doing technical training for the military. Basically that just means that I was going to school to learn how to do the job I'd signed up for. It was the first birthday I wasn't with my family for and I remember it being really, really hard. I called my mom from a pay phone (remember those?!) and cried.
I forgot to mention that I had gotten back together, during bootcamp (through letters), with my ex boyfriend. My first boyfriend ever. He was actually a huge part of the reason (not the only reason) that I left for the military in the first place. We were broken up -for the millionth time- and I wanted to finally move on, but I knew I wouldn't be able to if I stayed in San Antonio. Well, we all know how hard it is to move on from a first everything, so you can imagine how paralyzed I always was when it came to him. Of course I took him back 592904849 times. (Fyi, I don't believe in getting back with anyone - not even once. If it ended, then it ended for a reason. I learned that after this first relationship.)
So, as soon as my tech school was over in Mississippi, I went home to San Antonio again, for two weeks, before heading to my first permanent duty station, which was going to be in Oklahoma. While in Texas my ex and I tied the knot in a small church wedding. So there you have it. I was planning on never speaking on the blog about having been married before. It's not something I'm ashamed of, even though divorce is not something I flaunt. It's easy for me to talk of my divorce with my friends and family, but divorce can be a touchy subject to discuss with people who don't know you through and through. It'd especially make it difficult if someone who doesn't know what you went through passes judgment. But, I wanted to be honest, and I'm not ashamed of anything that has made me a stronger person, and this first relationship/marriage gave me the backbone that makes me proud. It's what makes me the tough-firecracker-cookie I am. (I don't put up with SHIT now. lol) ANYWAY, back to Texas. Everything happened super fast and wasn't really planned. The fact that he'd asked me to marry him, meant to me, that things would be different...that somehow all our problems would automatically be fixed. He had joined the military 2 weeks after I did and was finishing up his technical school in San Antonio (every job requires a tech school and the tech schools vary on location). At the time of our nuptials we had been together on and off for three years. More off than on. It was an emotional roller coaster of a relationship.
Without giving too much information about what went on in this marriage, I'll just say that when we got into our first apartment together in Oklahoma, we really had fun playing house...for all of 6 months. Then it was what it always was. And he thought we'd made a mistake by getting married so young/so soon.
So, that was home life. Back at my new office/squadron I was super happy. My supervisor was a wonderful, positive gentleman -named Jt Thompson- who started every morning out by playing the song, "Don't Worry Be Happy". And yup, you guessed it, I can't hear this song without missing him. (I'm listening to it right now.) He could tell when I was having hard times and talked to me like I was his daughter. I always miss that guy. I ended up becoming very close friends with one of my co-workers. Her name was Angel and we did everything together. She was the only friend I saw for about a year, and I could confide in her about my rocky marriage. I will always love her for having my back, too.
Me at 19. (I don't have a birthday pic b/c I didn't really have a birthday per se.)
|This was the first time I'd really seen snow, so I attempted a snow man. Angel was with me |
and thought OK's version of snow was a joke. She's from Connecticut.
Angel & Jt (stuffing his face! hehe)
Well, I'll cut it off here. Whew! This was pretty awkward, not gonna lie. And sorry these posts will be long, it's hard to shorten up a year's worth of info. If you read the whole thing, BRAVO. :)