Thursday, February 2, 2012

Let's Rewind 10 years: pt. 2

Now we'll revisit 2003. After I graduated bootcamp at the end of 2002, I was put on a bus in the middle of the night, with other graduates, and sent off to Mississippi. This was the first time I'd been out of Texas since I was a baby. The bus drove for hours, till the sun came up. I remember listening to the Smashing Pumpkins the whole ride there. To this day I cannot hear a single song from their greatest hits album and not see the image of myself on that bus, driving through Texas, then Louisiana, and seeing swamp lands through my window. I remember privately crying as I felt like some of the SP lyrics were talking specifically to me. I was so young and scared, but I was really excited, too. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I was ready for something to happen with my life.
I was 19 years old, living in a dorm room in Mississippi. For three months I'd be there doing technical training for the military. Basically that just means that I was going to school to learn how to do the job I'd signed up for. It was the first birthday I wasn't with my family for and I remember it being really, really hard. I called my mom from a pay phone (remember those?!) and cried.
I forgot to mention that I had gotten back together, during bootcamp (through letters), with my ex boyfriend. My first boyfriend ever. He was actually a huge part of the reason (not the only reason) that I left for the military in the first place. We were broken up -for the millionth time- and I wanted to finally move on, but I knew I wouldn't be able to if I stayed in San Antonio. Well, we all know how hard it is to move on from a first everything, so you can imagine how paralyzed I always was when it came to him. Of course I took him back 592904849 times. (Fyi, I don't believe in getting back with anyone - not even once. If it ended, then it ended for a reason. I learned that after this first relationship.)
So, as soon as my tech school was over in Mississippi, I went home to San Antonio again, for two weeks, before heading to my first permanent duty station, which was going to be in Oklahoma. While in Texas my ex and I tied the knot in a small church wedding. So there you have it. I was planning on never speaking on the blog about having been married before. It's not something I'm ashamed of, even though divorce is not something I flaunt. It's easy for me to talk of my divorce with my friends and family, but divorce can be a touchy subject to discuss with people who don't know you through and through. It'd especially make it difficult if someone who doesn't know what you went through passes judgment. But, I wanted to be honest, and I'm not ashamed of anything that has made me a stronger person, and this first relationship/marriage gave me the backbone that makes me proud. It's what makes me the tough-firecracker-cookie I am. (I don't put up with SHIT now. lol) ANYWAY, back to Texas. Everything happened super fast and wasn't really planned. The fact that he'd asked me to marry him, meant to me, that things would be different...that somehow all our problems would automatically be fixed. He had joined the military 2 weeks after I did and was finishing up his technical school in San Antonio (every job requires a tech school and the tech schools vary on location). At the time of our nuptials we had been together on and off for three years. More off than on. It was an emotional roller coaster of a relationship.
Without giving too much information about what went on in this marriage, I'll just say that when we got into our first apartment together in Oklahoma, we really had fun playing house...for all of 6 months. Then it was what it always was. And he thought we'd made a mistake by getting married so young/so soon.
So, that was home life. Back at my new office/squadron I was super happy. My supervisor was a wonderful, positive gentleman -named Jt Thompson- who started every morning out by playing the song, "Don't Worry Be Happy". And yup, you guessed it, I can't hear this song without missing him. (I'm listening to it right now.) He could tell when I was having hard times and talked to me like I was his daughter. I always miss that guy. I ended up becoming very close friends with one of my co-workers. Her name was Angel and we did everything together. She was the only friend I saw for about a year, and I could confide in her about my rocky marriage. I will always love her for having my back, too.
Me at 19. (I don't have a birthday pic b/c I didn't really have a birthday per se.)
This was the first time I'd really seen snow, so I attempted a snow man. Angel was with me
and thought OK's version of snow was a joke. She's from Connecticut. 
Angel & Jt (stuffing his face! hehe)
Well, I'll cut it off here. Whew! This was pretty awkward, not gonna lie. And sorry these posts will be long, it's hard to shorten up a year's worth of info. If you read the whole thing, BRAVO. :)


  1. You know I did. That's how you met me! Angel was my friend at Keesler, & then somehow we had the same duty station. =) Man, I can't believe it's been that long.


    1. Yep, you, Michelle, Chris, Andy...y'all will be in my next one. :) I'm so happy I met y'all. I technically met Phil, Kyle and Jer-Jer this year and I wanted to include them, but I couldn't find this one specific picture I was looking for.
      Dude, I know. Time freakin' flies. This feels like yesterday and a million years ago all at the same time.

  2. I think that it's really great that you shared your story as awkward as it may have felt for you because it can give other women the strength to know that they too don't have to settle for less than what they deserve..and that they too can pick up the pieces and move forward as a better person and find their TRUE love, like you did when you was blessed with Mikey & although that time in your life may be painful to reflect back on I'm sure you've learned so many life lessons from that situation and it's truly helped mold you into the beautiful woman and friend that you are today. So you know what they say "alls well that ends well" and although the immediate ending (the divorce) may have been extremely difficult..the true ending is still being written..and to me it's looking like happily ever after :)

    Ohhh and that's really cute that you even remember your first snow. I don't even know when the first time I saw snow was being it happened probably when I was still a newborn, LoL...& do you still keep in contact with Angel?

    1. THANK YOU, Ashley. ♥ You are incredibly kind and I'm so happy we're friends. You have a way with words. :) And I love that quote, "All's well that ends well." So true.
      Lol, you've been seeing snow your whole life living up here!
      I actually was still keeping in touch with her via Facebook, but with me being off it now, I don't really talk to alot of people, because they don't have my email addy. I'll probably use Mikey's account to get a hold of her and get her celly number because this post just made me miss her all over again.

  3. Being candid and open can be super awkward. But I think it is more liberating than anything else. I have shared some things on my blog that I didn't even see myself sharing with most people in my life for real-for real. I love these kind of posts because they are very endearing and really give folks insight into why we have the amazeball Roni-Pants we have before us today in all her splendor. =o)

    With Class & Sass,

    1. Definitely. "Super awkward", but I made the decision to share this stuff, so I'm trying to be really open to it. I mean, I won't always share *everything* but this was already so long ago. I've told the story a thousand times to friends and family. What's the pain in telling it again? (Without all the gory details, of course.)
      Thank you for being a great friend!

  4. I like how honest you are about everything. We all go through different things and in the end it only makes us stronger. I completely agree with - once you break up with someone you should leave it be, I learned that from my first serious relationship as well. Ashley's comment above puts it all perfectly :]
    It is also great that you had such positive people to turn to during this time.

    P.S. Great first attempt at a snowman, haha.

    1. Thank you. Of course there will be things I keep for myself, that way the blog doesn't feel like 'my whole life', ya know?
      LOL, that snowman didn't even deserve to be called a snowman. It was almost invisible! :)

  5. Yeah that OK snow is pretty sad. That little snowman never had a chance :) You know, I know a lot of people who got married young and have since divorced. You live and you learn, right?

  6. I read the whole thing Roni! And I am impressed with your story and your attitude. You are right not to be ashamed of anything that help mold you into the person you are today. I have been married three times (gulp) and whenever I say that outloud I think of how sordid it seems. But in reality, I have had a wonderful life and great relationships with my ex's. And I still believe that you can be married to the same person forever. Hopeless idealist? Maybe! Thanks for sharing Roni.

    1. Thanks for reading my novel, Lyn! haha I hate to publish such long winded posts, but I couldn't shorten it too much. And I figure if people wanna know more about me, they'll read it. No biggie. :) But thank you for pulling through!
      I have a friend close to my age who is on their third marriage as well. And I know if she could script out her life, it would have included 3 divorces. But things happen. People change and promises get broken. I'm just happy she's found her soul mate this time. I've definitely never seen her happier. So I, of course, place no surprised looks of judgement towards you. From what I've seen/read, you are an amazing woman with a grand heart. I'm sure your life has more happy moments than not, so no regrets. :) I actually have a great friendship with my ex, too. That's why I don't wanna share with the blog world all the bad things that happened with us, because I've gotten over it and become his friend.
      And I'm the same way. The divorce, even right after it happened, never changed the way I felt about marriage. How much I loved the idea of it. I always believed in it and of course I still do, too! Hopeless and I both!
      Have a wonderful day, Lyn. :)

  7. OMG the guy in the last picture is a civilian at the squadron (JT Thompson I think) now!! My new supervisor Tsgt Dailey worked with him as well. That is insane! Haha I've just been stalking your blog since I didn't have a computer for the longest time.


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