In-n-Out

And I wish I was talking about the burger place.
I'm just popping in right quick because I slept in really late and didn't leave myself a good amount of blogging time before I have to leave for work. I bartend or work the door at my favorite bar (Clash Bar) every now and then. I get to listen to live rock music all night, yay!
First off I wanted to share some pictures of my super fun girls night last night and show y'all the shoes I got.

Ashley & I both wore our Jeffrey Campbell animal print heels

I like how they're totally different styles of shoe

Walking Times Square w/Ash, Maddi & Jen

Jen & Ashley w/a self proclaimed internet sensation. Hmm...

Photo shoot in Forever 21

My "outfit pic" - I don't know why I'm standing like that.

And finally, although we told ourselves that neither of us would buy any shoes that night, we fell in love. With the same shoe! LOL We bought it in different colors. However, I want to go back for the color Ashley picked up. 

My new babies! I opted for the orange, brown, and tan.

Is that an architectural shoe or what?! 

This "Benched" beauty is called the "Rizzo" and the style was exclusive for Strut of NY

Here are the ones Ashley picked up. 

Here we are with the nice gentleman that worked there. He loved our energy. :) Thank you Strut of NY for your amazing customer service and your absolutely divine selection of rare Jeffrey Campbell finds!

Secondly, apologies again that my feature post will come late tonight as I do not get out of work until 3 a.m. And hooray that this will be the last of the divorce related chat. Oh, but that doesn't mean life gets easier all around. :)
Oh, for some reason some of your comments aren't posting to my page. At least they're not visible to me, even though I've read them in my email. Hopefully this is only a temporary little blog-error, but just know I'm seeing them and I thank you for taking the time to leave one. Reading sweet words in the comment section is one of the things I look forward to most. Y'all are such sweetie pies!

Love,
Roni

Let's Rewind 10 years: pt. 3

2004 was just an even worse continuation of 2003 (marriage wise). I was still trying desperately to hold on to "him", hoping that he was just going through a phase, or perhaps late symptoms of cold feet. But who has cold feet for over a year after saying "I do"? He was spending every weekend with the new friends he'd made at work, drinking in their dorm rooms. None of them were married and I know it made him miss having the same freedom those guys did. I spent my weekends reading marriage books at a nearby Christian bookstore. I was so desperate for God to step in and work a miracle. Of course we don't always get the answers we want. And that's not always a bad thing.
One of the hardest things, out of everything I went through during that time, was not wanting to talk to my mom about it. I never wanted her to know how broken I was. But she did, and we'd often cry together. Which hurt me more, because now it wasn't just me who was hurting. I hated her knowing the unhappiness in my life. I can't imagine that pain for a mother. Mothers want the best for their children and are truly omniscient beings; I couldn't have hidden my sorrows from her if I tried. Mom, I know you read along, so just know that it always meant so much to me that you never said, "I told you so". Thank you for choosing inspirational words and being so gentle. We both know you're not the crying, mushy type. Well, you never like to admit that you can be anyway. :) [I love you.]
I also hated being 20. I felt like I was stuck in a rut. And I remember always blaming a good chunk of my being miserable on the fact that I was 20. The age that didn't make a lick of sense to me. 
The good part of 2004? November and December. The ex ended up being sent on a rather unexpected deployment (I was furthermore depressed when this happened), but in efforts to not just stay at home and cry -I can't believe I still had tears left!- I started hanging out with friends I'd met on base. I still talked to Angel, but she was living farther away with her then husband, so I didn't see her as often, but it was through Angel that I'd met Jen in 2003 and we (Jen & I) got to know each other better this year. Additionally, it was Jen that introduced me to my best friend Michelle. I started hanging out with people that would be some of my best friends for life. For the first time in a long time I was having fun. I was happy when I was with these people. 
They're not all pictured, but my first Air Force family away from my real one was: Michelle, Jen, Jamilya, Phil, Kyle, Jer-Jer, Chris, Andy, and Dustin. We all still keep in touch, even if it's not as often as I'm sure we'd all like. Life just gets busy, I suppose. 

Michelle & I during a game of Catch Phrase

Jen & Michelle's squadron Christmas Party 2004. I went as both their dates :)

Sorry this came so late. Ashley & I didn't get back from the City till well after 3 a.m. And all we did was shop, eat, and take pictures in the Forever 21 at Times Square! I can't wait to share my latest JC heels tomorrow, err, later today. I'm gonna catch some z's. 

Thanks for reading, friends. Really, really. 

Love,

Roni

Feelin' Good

[This song.]

I must say, there's something about the color red, even if in a simple cardigan, that just makes me exude confidence. And there's something about primary blue stockings that warrant awkward stares from strangers. BUT there was something super awesome about this outfit, because walking around the mall to kill time on my lunch break got me a handful of sweet compliments from strangers. Awwww :)

 I walked through the shoe department in Macy's and the young man standing by simply said, "Fashionable." as I passed him. Haha I had to reassure Mikey that I'm almost positive he wasn't interested in me in the least, he was just doing what I do. Giving compliments when I see something that catches my eye. I don't hate! If I see someone lookin' fantastic, I let them know. And if it makes someone's confidence spike just a little, then hey, that's awesome that my little comment could do that. 

Dress//Belt//Shoes: ModCloth

Cardigan: Express

Tights: Target

Necklace & earrings: Swarovski

Welp, I gotta cut this really short because my girlfriend Ashley is on her way to pick me up so we can visit a Jeffrey Campbell shoe store in NYC. Weee! So my "Let's Rewind" feature (part 3) will be coming in later tonight. By the way, THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH for being so sweet. It means the world to know such supportive and kind-hearted souls.

Love,

Roni

P.s. Sorry if there are any typos. I don't have time to revise this! Eek!

Liebster Award

Now for a more uplifting and lighthearted post (yay for these!).
Allison, from Shy Scout, passed this blog award on to me about a week ago, but I'm just now getting to it. Eek! We can call me a slacker. I love Allison's blog for many reasons, and I'm super happy to have 'met' her. We have handfuls of things in common and visiting her blog is always a delightful treat. Especially on her "Thrifted Thursdays" -she always finds the coolest pieces!! Stop on over and say hello to this cute red head. :)

Info: 
This award is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers, in the hopes that it will bring many new friends/followers. Liebster is German and means 'dearest' or 'beloved' but it can also mean 'favorite'. The idea of the Liebster award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers. So, I am passing this award on to five other bloggers. Please stop by and visit them. 

The Rules are: 
1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them. 
2. Reveal your five picks for the award and let them know. 
3. Post the award on your blog. 
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogshare-other bloggers. 
5. Finally and the best rule of all..........have fun and spread the love! 

I am passing this award on to 5 lovely bloggers:

The Fabulous Gypsy - Not only do I love Jen's blog because I've known her (IRL) for almost a decade! I love her blog, because even if I didn't know her prior, I'd still have fallen in love with her voice. Jen is super honest and has always been a "putting it out there" kinda person. I admire the crap out of her for that. She's a dreamer and a lover. You see that so much in her writing on the blog. So go see Jen and fall in love with her, just like I have. She's a wonderful friend whose always got an adventure going on.

Dolled Up For The Day - Here's another sweet heart that I know in person, although we only met once or twice, unfortunately never getting to spend time together. Our friendship has absolutely blossomed through the social networking and blogging mediums over the last 3-ish years. Khalilah is a down to earth, sassified, fashionista with the true talent to back it up. I've mentioned her blog at least 10 times since I've been on here and it's for a reason. She's my go-to girl when I am at a loss for what to do to make a certain piece [of clothing] work. She's a fashion consultant God-send. Stop by, you won't regret it.

Pursuing Daydreams - And here's another lovely blogger that I have the pleasure of knowing in real life. I promise I'm not submitting any of these ladies just because of that. I read their blogs daily because I genuinely love them (along with many others); it just so happens that we're all fairly new to the blog world and haven't acquired more than 200 readers. :) If you're a shoe lover, you'll love Ashley's blog. If you're a Jeffrey Campbell shoe lover, you'll REALLY love it! She'll keep you up to date with all the latest styles and provide you with websites of where to buy (and for less!). Stop by Ashley's blog today and see what quirky shoes made her Dream List Thursday!! 

Elissiam. - Kirsten is someone I WISH I knew in real life. She is totally someone I'd spend the afternoon with, skipping through a park, chowing down on french fries, and buying kitty-print everythings with! I have absolutely loved getting to know her through her blog. I love her sense of style and humor, both of which are conveyed in every post. If you love quirky Australian, cat-girls, you'll freakin' love Kirsten! I am totes smitten with her and her blog. 

Jasmine Jewel's A Gemini - Jazz's blog is a fairly recent find for me, but I love it so much. She's a down  to earth Canadian sweetheart. (I love that I've got friends in different area codes and time zones.) Jazz has a fun lifestyle blog that often features her boyfriend and their roommate's dog (and other people's dogs for that matter, hehe). She wants a dog of her own so bad, so I'm excited for the day that I visit her blog and see that she's adopted a puppy-baby of her own! :) Mosey on over to this doll's blog and see the adorable pup she played with along with the lovely outfit she donned today! 

There are other blogs that have 200 followers or less that I really wish I could have added to the list, so please don't feel left out. I have another award to pass along tomorrow, so I'm thinking of those of you that I missed! :D

Goodnight, darlings.

Love,

Roni    

Let's Rewind 10 years: pt. 2

Now we'll revisit 2003. After I graduated bootcamp at the end of 2002, I was put on a bus in the middle of the night, with other graduates, and sent off to Mississippi. This was the first time I'd been out of Texas since I was a baby. The bus drove for hours, till the sun came up. I remember listening to the Smashing Pumpkins the whole ride there. To this day I cannot hear a single song from their greatest hits album and not see the image of myself on that bus, driving through Texas, then Louisiana, and seeing swamp lands through my window. I remember privately crying as I felt like some of the SP lyrics were talking specifically to me. I was so young and scared, but I was really excited, too. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I was ready for something to happen with my life.
I was 19 years old, living in a dorm room in Mississippi. For three months I'd be there doing technical training for the military. Basically that just means that I was going to school to learn how to do the job I'd signed up for. It was the first birthday I wasn't with my family for and I remember it being really, really hard. I called my mom from a pay phone (remember those?!) and cried.
I forgot to mention that I had gotten back together, during bootcamp (through letters), with my ex boyfriend. My first boyfriend ever. He was actually a huge part of the reason (not the only reason) that I left for the military in the first place. We were broken up -for the millionth time- and I wanted to finally move on, but I knew I wouldn't be able to if I stayed in San Antonio. Well, we all know how hard it is to move on from a first everything, so you can imagine how paralyzed I always was when it came to him. Of course I took him back 592904849 times. (Fyi, I don't believe in getting back with anyone - not even once. If it ended, then it ended for a reason. I learned that after this first relationship.)
So, as soon as my tech school was over in Mississippi, I went home to San Antonio again, for two weeks, before heading to my first permanent duty station, which was going to be in Oklahoma. While in Texas my ex and I tied the knot in a small church wedding. So there you have it. I was planning on never speaking on the blog about having been married before. It's not something I'm ashamed of, even though divorce is not something I flaunt. It's easy for me to talk of my divorce with my friends and family, but divorce can be a touchy subject to discuss with people who don't know you through and through. It'd especially make it difficult if someone who doesn't know what you went through passes judgment. But, I wanted to be honest, and I'm not ashamed of anything that has made me a stronger person, and this first relationship/marriage gave me the backbone that makes me proud. It's what makes me the tough-firecracker-cookie I am. (I don't put up with SHIT now. lol) ANYWAY, back to Texas. Everything happened super fast and wasn't really planned. The fact that he'd asked me to marry him, meant to me, that things would be different...that somehow all our problems would automatically be fixed. He had joined the military 2 weeks after I did and was finishing up his technical school in San Antonio (every job requires a tech school and the tech schools vary on location). At the time of our nuptials we had been together on and off for three years. More off than on. It was an emotional roller coaster of a relationship.
Without giving too much information about what went on in this marriage, I'll just say that when we got into our first apartment together in Oklahoma, we really had fun playing house...for all of 6 months. Then it was what it always was. And he thought we'd made a mistake by getting married so young/so soon.
So, that was home life. Back at my new office/squadron I was super happy. My supervisor was a wonderful, positive gentleman -named Jt Thompson- who started every morning out by playing the song, "Don't Worry Be Happy". And yup, you guessed it, I can't hear this song without missing him. (I'm listening to it right now.) He could tell when I was having hard times and talked to me like I was his daughter. I always miss that guy. I ended up becoming very close friends with one of my co-workers. Her name was Angel and we did everything together. She was the only friend I saw for about a year, and I could confide in her about my rocky marriage. I will always love her for having my back, too.

Me at 19. (I don't have a birthday pic b/c I didn't really have a birthday per se.)

This was the first time I'd really seen snow, so I attempted a snow man. Angel was with me
and thought OK's version of snow was a joke. She's from Connecticut. 

Angel & Jt (stuffing his face! hehe)

Well, I'll cut it off here. Whew! This was pretty awkward, not gonna lie. And sorry these posts will be long, it's hard to shorten up a year's worth of info. If you read the whole thing, BRAVO. :)

Love,

Roni

Day of the stork

I woke up today to the news that my brother's girlfriend, Bobbie, had gone into labor! Best way to be woken up...and probably the only valid reason to cut your z's short. 

During class I received word that Makaila had arrived! Weeee!!! 

Makaila Star - 7.5 lbs - 19 in. - 2:36 pm

Mommy and baby are A-Okay. Mikey and I just became an aunt and uncle for the 2nd time, and this just makes our future visits to Texas that much more sweet - we get to play with babies!!! And Nathaniel has a brand new cousin.  :D

When Mikey attempted to take my outfit pictures after I'd gotten home from school, Jaxon ran over to me like a mad-dog, jumping on me and loving me so. I'm wondering if this was his version of celebrating Makaila's birth. 

They just had to be in my pictures. (Jaxon & Bowie)

Romper: Ruche (2009)

Cardi, flats: Target (super old)

Tights (magenta): Forever 21

Belt: H&M

The month of love certainly started out with it! Happy February! 
That's all for tonight! Sweet dreams, pretties.

Let's Rewind 10 years: pt. 1

Today & the next 9 days I am going to go back the last decade of my life and highlight [in pictures] some of the most significant events of each year. Then on the 10th (my 28th birthday) I'll post a couple baby pictures along with the pictures of my 27th year. I hope y'all enjoy this temporary feature. 

My whole life I had never been one to tell anyone it was my birthday. I was never that little girl (or adult for that matter) that said, "Hey, my birthday's coming up, what are you gonna get me?"; I was always extremely shy to bring any attention to myself, so the idea of all these people showing me an overwhelming amount of affection all at once terrified me. (Of course this doesn't include my birthday parties thrown by my family.) Then as I got older I hated the idea that I "wasn't young" anymore, so I kept my birthday and age private for that reason, too. This year I've had a total change of heart and perception. A month or so ago I thought to myself how depressing it was going to be turning 28, and how ancient it made me feel. But immediately the optimistic part of me jumped in, and I thought about how much life I've had. All the experiences. All the love. All the friendships I've built. The beautiful things I've seen and places I've been. The stories I've gathered, through happiness and heartache alike, to share with my future kids. All these wonderful blessings that I've been alive to be apart of. And when I thought of it like that, I realized that is the way I want to always receive the notion of getting older. Through every mistake I've made, and boy have I made a ton, I can honestly say that I just keep getting better as the years go by, and I'm very happy with who I am. That's the most important thing, I think, to be happy with ourselves. To accept ourselves. So never again will I let myself fall into pessimistic mode when February rolls around. I shouldn't huff and pout, I should be happy and thankful that I've still got a life to live! So in sharing with y'all that my birthday is coming up, I'm not looking for a buttload of "Happy Birthday" comments [that day] and please don't feel obligated; this is simply my way of celebrating my life, finally being free of my awkward birthday blues! And no one should feel awkward or shy about celebrating the gift of life. Can I get an Amen?  ;)

Now, 10 years ago, in 2002, I was 18 years old. Couldn't break 100 pounds to save my life, and the only reason I was able to get into the military being underweight was because some of the instructors had me drink an entire jug of water before weigh-ins! I was also put into a group that was allowed more time to eat during chow (we were normally given about 5 minutes) and I was given cakes when we were sooo NOT ALLOWED sweets, all in the name of putting weight on this little trainee. 

My ex's mom (who is amazing) threw me a surprise Barbie party for my 18th birthday

Here I am lookin' awkward b/c I didn't expect this. lol

3 significant events from my 18th year: 

High School Graduation; joining the Air Force; graduating bootcamp

This little feature will also serve as a means of y'all getting to know more about me. Things will get personal in the next couple days when I go back to the next couple years, and I'm feeling a little nervous about sharing something that I haven't talked about, but what little skepticism I do have is overshadowed by the fact that I know none of y'all are ones to judge. From everything I've seen thus far, y'all are incredibly open-minded, accepting and encouraging. And I love that about every one of you. 

Coming back to do an outfit post along with sharing an amazing thing that happened today! 

Love,

Roni