Thursday, February 9, 2012

Let's Rewind 10 years: pt. 9

Look who's up early and off school! That means you get your post early today, weee!
Where are we again?...Ah, 2010. Another lively year.
~For my 26th birthday Mikey and I went out to eat at a yummy steakhouse (I'm addicted to filet mignon) and then we saw the Beatles LOVE Show by Cirque Du Soleil at the Mirage Hotel & Casino. It was an all around amazing time. Jen, I can't remember if you saw this while in Vegas or not, but surely you must as I thought of you during it.
Notice Mikey's stint as a brunette, lol
~Right after my birthday I found out I was pregnant....we were super happy. Every single one of my friends (and of course my family) have always known how badly I want kids. I mean, I know I was wild and crazy, drinking all the time, when I first got to Vegas; I know I've shopped like I'd never run out of money, but I've done everything that I've done because I wasn't a mother yet - because I was only responsible for me. Believe me when I say that if ever I could have traded my lifestyle for being a mom, I'd have done it in a second...I really wanted to be a young mommy. Go figure, the more you want them, the longer you get to wait. I believe in "everything happens for a reason" and I trust in God, that clearly I'll have them when I'm supposed to. Unfortunately I've had more than one miscarriage, and it's really the hardest thing a girl can go through. Harder than divorce, for me. To feel like you have something you've always wanted and you treat your body like there's something in there, caring for it, talking to it, floating on clouds, only to find out a week or so later that it just didn't attach itself the way it was supposed to...I remember conversations with older people, telling them how bad I wanted kids when I was younger; they'd always tell me to "wait" and "live a little"...I've come to think that maybe God is making me live a little, see things, before I have them. Even if I feel like I've done plenty of living. So, I don't know what else to do but be positive and trust that it's for a reason beyond my comprehension. While I wouldn't wish a miscarriage or the inability to have kids on my worst enemy, it's always been a comfort me for to know that I've got friends that share my experiences; it gives shoulders of hope to lean on when one of us has ended up pregnant after years of failed attempts and it simply gives us someone to talk to who can relate. I've since prayed my heart out that I please not ever get pregnant again if I'm going to experience another heartbreak with loss. I want the next time I'm pregnant to result in a baby Roni or Mikey running around.
So, after I miscarried, naturally I was a disaster. Sad. Crying. Quiet. I wanted the presence of a baby in the house in some form; I wanted to hold something cute and tiny. So I asked Mikey if we could go look at puppies. One look at Bowie and I wanted him to come home with us. He made me happy....and then once I'd gotten over my sad state, I was like "OMG why did I make us get another dog?!" Haha :) Oh, Bowie, he can be a carpet-ruining, new recliner chewing, clueless little ball of fur, but I love him, and every now and then I look at him and remember how much I needed him when we got him. 
~April: I took a crack at being a hair and [crazy] makeup model + runway for the super fabulous & famous hairstylist, Oribe. The show was held at the Palms Hotel & Casino. I did it with my friend Brandi and we had a blast. I found out just how shy I really am and how big of a bust it would have been to fulfill a child dream of becoming a model. Definitely not for me! But the $100 worth of free Oribe hair products & $100 cash was a nice payment for 8 hours of work/play. 
me & Oribe! 
~July: I was starting to out-process the military. My 2nd enlistment in the Air Force was coming to an end. We had our going away party and said goodbye to some of the best people we'd ever known. I cried A LOT. The military brought so many things to my life. Discipline. Responsibility. Travel. Change. But best of all, friendship...family. It was such a fun ride and I'm so glad I did it. I spent almost 8 years of my life wearing a uniform that represented something that will forever make me proud when I look back on it. 
Two quotes that I remember using in association with looking at all these pictures of our goodbye:
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."-if anyone knows who said this, please let me know. I can't seem to remember or find it. 
"Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes."- Henry David Thoreau
~August: We left Vegas and did a loooong road trip. We went from Vegas to Texas, Texas to North Carolina, North Carolina to Jersey. The whole thing took about 3 weeks as we stayed with both our mothers along the way. 
~October: We'd been living in Jersey for all of two months and already I was sad almost everyday without having friends around. I decided to fly to Tennessee for two weeks and have some girl time with Paige. 
Also this month, one of my best girlfriends from Vegas, Laura, came to Jersey to spend Halloween with us. 
~November: Chappie came out to visit me in Jersey! 
~December: Jen came out to visit me! I hadn't seen her in 5, almost 6 years by this time! It was Christmas time in NY and we had so much fun running around 5th Ave and Rockefeller Center, dancing with Santa in the street. 
2010 had so many tear inducing moments, it was such an emotional year all around, but a great one nonetheless. 
Hooray for blogging before midnight! Just think, y'all only have to read one more novel by yours truly. :) 

Love,
Roni

11 comments:

  1. I am so sorry the year started out like that but I am glad you have a positive out look on the situation. Everything will happen when and the way it is supposed to :] Bowie is an adorable addition to the fam. I am also so very jealous that you got to see the Beatles LOVE show!!! My friends parents flew out there just to see it. I got to see Paul McCartney this summer at Wrigley field - it was the best show I had ever seen! Also, that is so cool that you have been a hair model, I have always wanted to try that out and get a sweet free hair cut.

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    1. Thank you for your sweet words, Allison. :)
      Bowie is soooo cute, but omg he likes to ruin some nice things, lol.
      OMG, of course you got to see Paul McCartney - you get to see everyone!!!
      The hair model show thingy was cool. They didn't cut our hair or dye it or anything though, they gave us wigs. And those wigs were extreme! haha

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  2. -Aww sorry to hear about the pregnancy issues, but GOD definitely is working on a blessing for you! And I KNOW you'll be a wonderful Mother!!! I can't wait to see the day you and Mikey welcome your own little bundle of joy into your family! :) And that's even if you choose to take the adoption route, my daughter's cousin Miracle that you seen on instagram is adopted. A child is a blessing and being a parent is a bond that far surpasses how that child enters into your family :) ...But it's good to see that you have a positive outlook on everything! ..........
    -Hahahah check out that hair and blue lips! Love it! When I first saw that pic I thought you had a blue pacifier in your mouth until I enlarged it hehehehee, but that's awesome that you had an opportunity to do something like that AND get free products and compensation for it! That's great! Now you should see about modeling for Modcloth!!
    -Awwww I love Bowies little face!! He such an adorable little cuddly fur ball! I can totally see how you fell in love with him. And just his picture can lift the lowest of spirits..he's soooo adorable!!!

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    1. Ash, you always have a way with words, I swear!! Thank you for your kind heart and friendship! It'd be awesome to have a little one to play with Madi. Could you imagine?! haha And you're absolutely right when you say that it doesn't matter how a child enters the family. Each child is a blessing. And I've thought that if it's not possible for me to have kids that I'd love to adopt. Those poor babies that need moms and dads as bad as people that can't have kids need them.
      And omg, lol, that's hilarious that you thought I had a paci in my mouth! hahahaha I guess it sorta looks like that! They gave us crazy lipstick and crazy hair to match. My lips are already big as it is, put blue on them and they look even bigger!
      Psss, I wish I could model for ModCloth. I'd do anything for ModCloth! haha
      And Bowie was so cute. I held him and was like, "I need this little baby right now" :)

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    2. Aww, thx!! *Hug* ..That definitely would be awesome..although Madison being little miss bawss would definitely be trying to boss little Roni/Mikey around hehehe...Yeahh adoption is something I want to do in life regardless if I end up having more kids or not. I've always wanted to adopt, I think it's the most beautiful gesture a person can give..to welcome into their family and raise a child that needs a home.
      Hahahahah Idk why I thought that ..but at first I was like well I guess the pacifier is apart of the costume..until I clicked on it..I guess my mind automatically ruled out blue lipstick and rationalized the blue as an object......OKAY I'm def over-analyzing my thought process now hahahahahah...OH and your lips are not big..BIG is JAY-Z Lips!!!
      If you ever do model for ModCloth that would be SO awesome! Especially if they gave you some free clothes too!! They should have a contest for that...not like we're known for having the luck of winning those kind of things lol
      I can totally picture that moment when you fell in love with him! He's such a sweetheart.

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  3. I love reading what you have to say. Yes, that was totally fun & I can't wait to do it again. I want to go back to NJ, probably in May/June. Carl's been bugging me to see him anyways, you know.

    Speaking of Vegas, that guy I met down there, John (from England), today is his birthday, too, and he asked if I was going again in October. I said maybe. I had tickets to see the Beatles thing, but I missed my first flight and by the time I got there, the show had already started. =( I lost out on $200 bucks. That's what Vegas is all about anyways, right? Maybe if I go in October, I'll get to see it this time. You should come with!! I don't want to be alone this time.

    -j.

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    1. Thanks, Jen.
      Aww we had so much fun when you were here. I'm sure Carl is hoping to get some more time with you. You only met him the one night, right?

      I don't remember the English guy. Hmm?? You might have to refresh my memory later. But OMG I would have been livid if I lost out on that show/money. You couldn't get refunded since you missed your flight?
      Girl, I'd love to go with you to Vegas. I'd love to go back in general, and of course we will since we've got friends out there...just not sure when that's gonna happen. :/

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  4. We've had textersations about the little chipotles. I definitely and wholeheartedly believe that God does things in HIS time. I mean I was married 7 years! I always try to find that silver lining though...I think I am 1 bad ass micky frickin' woman for having gone through the things I've gone through and coming out relatively unscathed. I would have to say the same for you! It is so cool that so many of your friends came to visit you. I pretty much have my 1 ride or die who has the means to visit me not matter where I am. Gotta love that kind of friendship!

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    1. Yes, we have. I love that I've got you. And YOU are an amazing woman, an amazing human being and boy oh boy, you're going to be an amazing mommy!
      Friendships like that are what melts my heart. Honest to God, your friendship melts my heart just the same. How close we are with what little in-person interaction we've had is a proof of blessings.

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